Selfish post about hospital visits

[leftyjew]

Since June, I've been to the hospital 5 times. Only once was for me. Three times, it was the same hospital. Twice, same bed. Two times, the patients had effectively the same condition (different severity).
Last night was the fifth time. Arguably, it was the easiest. And it also felt the most like a hospital.
I keep thinking about the poem inscribed on my metro entrance and how it fits my life. I also keep thinking about how when I said I like hostels, sarahrubin thought that I meant that I liked going to hospitals.
Anyway, this is much better than a summer of bedbugs or a summer of people moving out. And hell, if you need an ER visit, I've proven myself reliable.

But to all friends who have already or have not yet gone to the hospital this summer:
If you want to get sick or injured, please hold off until mid-October. I think I've earned a few months' respite, and the holidays are coming up.

PS - To those of you who I have sat with at a hospital, please don't take this personally. I've been very happy to sit by your respective sides and providing whatever a friend can provide. Actually happy, not just okay with it. I enjoy being useful and I enjoy being a friend to people. I just wish people would stop falling apart around me.

PPS - Another interesting thing to note is how I really hate terms like "bikur cholim" or "hesed work". They're such objectifications of things that shouldn't be objectified. I think the same applies to "charity" and "community service" in my mind.

Comments

[pushing-limits.livejournal.com]

Duly noted :)

[rivka-m.livejournal.com]

I've got a good track record so far-- I'll try to keep it up, at least till after chagim :)

[leftyjew.livejournal.com]

Yeah, keep it up!

[kellev.livejournal.com]

terms like those are useful when communicating with other people... like if I find out that somebody is "service oriented," I think that's a good thing.

[leftyjew.livejournal.com]

see my comments to rivka_m below.

[rivka-m.livejournal.com]

what kind of language would you use to talk about things like that?

[leftyjew.livejournal.com]

My problem is this:
Saying "I do bikur cholim" means "I'm going to drop in a Jewish term because I do it for reasons that are Jewish and I feel obliged and this is more of a reflection of my relationship to my religion than my relationship to people. See? I didn't even mention the fact that there are people besides me involved here." If you say, "I visit people in hospitals to cheer them up," it's an indication that you actually do it for people. Same with "hesed work". They all sound more to me like entries on a resume than anything done out of love of another person. It sounds more of an obligation that you fulfill without regard to the humanness of the relationship. It lacks the human element completely in my ears - the understanding that the person in front of you is whole and not the object of your mitzvah. It's an I-It phraseology. The actuality of "hesed work" is the goal, not the relationship.

The only difference between the above terms "charity" and "community service" is that the latter are Christian and the former are Jewish. But really, it's the same thing. I think "tzedakah" comes closer to what I mean when I give money to people or organizations. It implies building something greater than a simple act of charity. "Charity" means to me igniting a spark of mitzvah. Tzedakah implies that AND building a just world.

[leftyjew.livejournal.com]

Also, I really don't like catch phrases or buzzwords that abbreviate human interaction.

[leftyjew.livejournal.com]

Here's another example - "hachnasat orchim". If you're inviting people over, would you say to them, "Let me do hachnasat orchim - come over!" or would you say, "Can you come over?" Which one sounds more human to you? Which one evokes the relationship more and which the duty? Which invitation would you take and which sounds more selfish?

[tobeginagain.livejournal.com]

I really like your thoughts on those terms as I read below.

And not that I've ever had an ER visit in my life, tfu tfu, baruch hashem, whatever, but just in case, I know exactly who to call to visit me. I hear he's quite experienced. So, when will you be in Jtown so I can plan to fall apart?

[jet17q.livejournal.com]

noted... I'm happy wtih my almost 7 months of being ER free record :). I also don't like the word bikur cholim.. I also think it implies doing this for baruch haboa.. (I may be using the wrong term there), and not for the sake of doing......

[leftyjew.livejournal.com]

Well, good luck on your winning streak. I'm not sure I'll be in Jlem any time soon (unless moshiach comes), but I'll keep it in mind.

[tobeginagain.livejournal.com]

If moshiach comes, will there still be ERs to visit? If so, will they at least close down Bikur Cholim? It's a pretty miserable hospital...

[arctic-alpine.livejournal.com]

when I worked with magen david adom we took all the drunks and obviously not-sick-but-want-to-go-to-the-hospital-anyways to bikur cholim. we took everyone else to hadassa or shaarei tzedek no matter how close to bikur cholim. some charedim would prefer BC because it was their area but we'd tryt o convince them they didnt really want to go there. hope you havent been a patient there

[tobeginagain.livejournal.com]

I wasn't, but my close friend was and so I spent a few days with her there while she was recuperating - so awful!

Actually, I just learned this Shabbat, that students in Ben Gurion University's international medicine program who are too religious to travel to third world countries for their internships are sent to Bikur Cholim because it's (vaguely) comparable!

[That's really interesting about your experience with MaDA!]