Koach Kallah 2003
Feb. 23rd, 2003 11:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leftyjewI had a really interesting time at Koach Kallah (or as Jess says, Jewfest) 2003 this weekend. I never knew there were conservative jews who were actually passionate about their religion! my religious experience as a conservative was pretty lame. I kinda got the feeling that it was all just rote repetition of words people didn't understand and did minimally because they felt they should. there was nothing to separate shabbat from any other day except that we sometimes had to go to shul to get a "service credit" for hebrew school. the rabbi just wants money, and the congregants just want to put on a show. after my bar mitzvah (which was actually an incredibly spititual and meaningful experience) i didnt go back (except the high holy days which i really appreciated) until i was a sophomore in college. well, i did go to israel with a jewish teen tour and was struck with several deep spiritual moments and learned quite a bit, but i didnt really get into it until college. then after getting into numerous discussions late into the night arguing about religion and philosophy and politics from an intellectual level, i began to understand what it was that i believed. i came to identify myself with my faith after having a dream. i woke up and said, "mom, i think im going to services tonight." i went to conservative services at home and then at school and found that people still didnt seem to care much about G-d or prayer or being jewish but found fulfillment from the community. okay, that can take you so far if you are a member of the community. i felt a bit excluded and didn't really love most of the people there, but i still kept shabbat and some form of kashrut (vegetarian and hot dairy were fine). Then I went to China for a year and kept shabbat somewhat kinda a little sometimes and went to services there on some friday nights (the only time they get togeher). they probably identified themselves as reform being that there is no real way to keep kashrut or shabbat or most other holidays in beijing. then, i came back here, went to my shul and asked my rabbi to talk about judaism. the bastard told me that in order to learn more about halacha and expanding my understanding, etc, i should take a course at school or do this at school or that at school. first, thats 3 months away, second, i didnt have the time to take a course with my graduation reqs. he really should have helped me more and then, and i hold that against him. anyway, i go to shabbat services sometimes that summer, but wasnt inspired. i wasnt able to grow. then i come back to school and go back to the conservative friday night services and found it slightly more inspiring, but not much. it still seems like a show in a way - that everybody singing prettily and in tune was what was important, but that passion must be controlled.
In my experience, i only found real passion for G-d in the orthodox minyanim (or the near-orthodox conservative ones) and in the extremly reform guitar-playing minyanim which i was never comfortable with, so I started looking toward orthodoxy as the way to go - the goal. but now i go here and find out that conservative judaism actually has a complex and consistant intellectual basis. sadly, that is hardly ever reflected in the congregants who simply treat it as a way to fulfill as few mitzvot as possible while calling themselves better than the reform jews because they pray in a language they cant understand.
egalitarianism is an interesting concept. well, actually, nonegalitarianism is kinda interesting. i don't see any real reason for it without a mehitza. the problem with most egal congregations, though, is that they tend to be more liberal, and iin my experiences, most worshippers don't care much or do much (see previous cut).
whew! just had an argument with roommate about raising kids jewish and marrying jewish. he said it was elitist to put judaism on my criteria list because it's in order to preserve my culture. maybe that means it's inward-looking or closed-off, i don't see it as really elitist. as for raising your kid jewish, what is wrong with trying to imbue a set of morals and beliefs on a kid? not brainwash him/her. expose him/her to other ideas, too. i was raised thinking christianity was stupid and silly and i pretty much thought this way until i came to college and actually understood what the religion was. that is not how i want to raise my kids - in a veil of ignorance. but i also want them to know more about their own religion than i did. i guess people all want for their kids what they feel they didnt get as children. makes sense. and this is why the children of hippies will likely be hard-asses with their kids.
In my experience, i only found real passion for G-d in the orthodox minyanim (or the near-orthodox conservative ones) and in the extremly reform guitar-playing minyanim which i was never comfortable with, so I started looking toward orthodoxy as the way to go - the goal. but now i go here and find out that conservative judaism actually has a complex and consistant intellectual basis. sadly, that is hardly ever reflected in the congregants who simply treat it as a way to fulfill as few mitzvot as possible while calling themselves better than the reform jews because they pray in a language they cant understand.
egalitarianism is an interesting concept. well, actually, nonegalitarianism is kinda interesting. i don't see any real reason for it without a mehitza. the problem with most egal congregations, though, is that they tend to be more liberal, and iin my experiences, most worshippers don't care much or do much (see previous cut).
whew! just had an argument with roommate about raising kids jewish and marrying jewish. he said it was elitist to put judaism on my criteria list because it's in order to preserve my culture. maybe that means it's inward-looking or closed-off, i don't see it as really elitist. as for raising your kid jewish, what is wrong with trying to imbue a set of morals and beliefs on a kid? not brainwash him/her. expose him/her to other ideas, too. i was raised thinking christianity was stupid and silly and i pretty much thought this way until i came to college and actually understood what the religion was. that is not how i want to raise my kids - in a veil of ignorance. but i also want them to know more about their own religion than i did. i guess people all want for their kids what they feel they didnt get as children. makes sense. and this is why the children of hippies will likely be hard-asses with their kids.
